In today’s politically correct world it is probably as difficult as it has ever been to be raising children to succeed in life. Almost all of the tactics used by your parents and your grandparents before them to motivate, punish or reward a child is now either frowned upon or illegal. We are raising children in age where they are always right, they can not be told no and in many cases they hold the balance of power in the parent child dynamic.
How do you now punish a child, options from years gone by such as a smack on the arse or rapp across the knuckles the knuckles are now seen as abuse. Sending the child to bed without dinner is considered as neglect and or abuse. Even raising your voice in some peoples opinions is considered as bullying or harassing your child. We are encouraged to wrap negative feedback in a sandwich of positive reinforcement or compliments. How does a child walk away from that understanding that they have done wrong. If you don’t go down that path with a young child you could take toys away or put them in a naughty corner but this method only lasts so long. Consider how many toys children have now, they soon realise they have other toys to play with. If you went with the naughty corner or time out method you can only leave the child there for a short period before people start telling you have gone to far. Can you remember being sent to your room as child it could last for hours now after 10 or so minutes that’s enough.
Consider house hold duties, how do you know get a child to contribute around the house, this used to be rewarded with pocket money which is now not possible as children are just given an allowance or get anything they want due not wanting your child to be the one bullied for not having the latest gadget or fashion. There are people out there in there teens were making toast is hard because they have never had to do it.
Lets look at a school aged child that has done poorly on an assignment, the school or parents marks them to harsh they are seen to be killing there confidence if you push hard to motivate them to do better to excel you are bullying them. If a child continually puts out bad work they suddenly have learning difficulties and a coddled and no longer pushed to try hard to improve and develop. If they don’t meet a deadline they are given extensions for the smallest reasons even if those reasons had not impact until just prior to the due date.
Almost anything these days can be twisted to poor parenting. If a child goes to run out the door and you put your hand out to stop them or grab there arm this can and has been considered abuse. Real life and practicality are not considered that parent could have potentially saved that child’s life as a car might have driven past at that time or anything could happen but that is not what our legal system sees any longer.
Now think about how these children are growing up they have no respect for authority or there elders, they have limited sense of right and wrong, they have no understanding of discipline, they have no motivation or drive to succeed, no willingness to learn or do things for themselves. Now picture that child in employment what a shock it is to there system they suddenly need to follow instructions, work to a quality standard, hit deadlines and be accountable for there actions. Does anyone else seen eminent failure here with these restrictions how do we go about raising children to succeed…..